the art of why
you know what is so crazy? a lot of things. why are somethings so crazy? well they might be crazy to me and not you. that why might be unique to you and only you. think about that one argument that you had with someone around you; you were so confused and frustrated about why they couldn't just understand your side. what you said felt so right in your eyes, but they continued to spew their side of the story like you didn’t even matter. this could’ve ended a friendship or relationship for you. the art of not understanding why they did what they did, or them not understanding your why. but what makes this matter so much? what causes humans to lose connections over the why in things?
did you know: humans share 99.9% of genetic information. that means that 0.1% of us is genetically different. that 0.1% contains our physical features and traits. what makes us so different then? well every person does not grow up the same way. some people grow up rich, some grow up poor, some grow up with only one parent and some grow up with none. some people never grow up period. your life is unique to you and only you. you may have went through something so traumatic in your life that gave you the fear of love whereas someone else could’ve never received love and that could be what makes them crave it so much. we are completely different individuals. but at the same time, we are so much alike. we all have emotions even if we feel numb. we all were conceived and we all will die someway somehow. we all want to feel some sort of pleasure or happiness. we all have goals and dreams in life. we are all humans who share 99.9% of dna. i said that to put our existence in perspective. its all about perspective.
now back to the main point; what makes the why so important to us. the why allows us reasoning, understanding and closeness. sometimes we feel like if we knew why someone did what they did then we could better understand them. but the truth is, we will never know what someone else is thinking and why they say and do the things they do. they may tell us their reason, but we will never know if that is truly their motive behind it. thier motive might be something totally different, have you ever told somebody that you weren’t available because you didn’t feel well but in reality you already had plans? now im not saying that everbody lies when they tell you why they did something or why they feel a specific type of way. im just saying, what makes us get sooooo hurt when people tell us something that is unique to them and not us. we never will know exactly why.
this prones me to search for another way of reasoning. turn why into what. what can i do to relieve that stress that i received from that situation? what made us argue? what are our differences? what did they go through? what can we do to simplify this complicated issue. what makes us incompatible? what made you end things with that person? what can i do to grow from this? what is stronger than why. not because i say so but what tends to have facts behind it. what allows you to grow and do something about the situation rather than continue to search for the why. has someone ever asked you why you feel a certain way and you just don’t know what to say? then when they ask what have you been going through or what has been challenging, it seems to let you dive a little deeper into yourself? asking what can lead you to a better understanding of why. sitting in the wonders of why may hold you back from becoming the person you are striving to become. why isn’t a bad word its just a wondering word and wondering can be good or bad sometimes. we may get close to knowing the why when we ask ourselves the what; and honestly we may never get close at all.
